all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
