Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
