If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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