I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
