Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
