Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My feet surprised me
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