Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
