who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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