I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I AM VODKA MAN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
