Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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