yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
