I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
