If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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