you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
