what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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