Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
...so i touched it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
