That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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