YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
