I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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