when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
