I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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