Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize