wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
