i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
