3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
