Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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