Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize