spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
