I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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