I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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