I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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