Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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