Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
