Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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