that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
