1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
