dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
