dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
