This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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