I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
