So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nicole vs. Life
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
