U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Two words: blizzard sex
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
