Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do vagina's smell?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
