Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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