And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
