I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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