Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
