we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
