I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
