Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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