woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
