Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
