What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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