I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
