Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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