You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
