If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize