I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
