i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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