Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
