My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
