How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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