good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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