ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
