my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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